The Outer Limits

Vol. VII

Everyone loves stadium songs. You know, those songs that are used to pump up the crowd, motivate the players and switch momentum our way.

We all got our favorites, whether it be the classics by Queen or anything modern by  ”insert rapper name here”.

We’ve also seen tons of lists on them and voiced our opinion on which are the best.

But what about that one song that didn’t really fit in? The song, that if you heard in a stadium during the game, would make you go, “What the fu…?”

In honor of all those songs, I present you with:

Top 10 Songs You Don’t Want To Hear During A Game

 
1) ABBA – “Dancing Queen”  – Anything by ABBA can get thrown in this list automatically, after all, there’s nothing tough about a Swedish pop group. The title and topic don’t help either…unless…

What do you call it when Mark Sanchez is scrambling out of the pocket?

ZING!

2.The Weather Girls – “It’s Raining Men” – Despite there being an obvious high concentration of men, both playing and watching the game, you don’t really want this song playing either. First, the homosexual community (no offense) hijacked this song from the female population. Second, the type of men at the stadium are not exactly the type of men you’d want raining on top of you, probably because they weigh 300 pounds.

3. Celine Dion – “My Heart Will Go On”  – I can see only one occasion that this song would be appropriate: If your team was stinking it up so bad (Rosie O’Donnell humor-level bad), that you’d think it was the sequel to Titanic.

4. Right Said Fred – “I’m Too Sexy” – Unless Brady is playing, there are no sexy men in or around this sporting event. Even then, if you’re a Pats fan, would you want your star quarterback without his shirt and protection?

5. Los Del Rio- “Macarena” – Please God no, this was milked dry a decade ago.

6. Cyndi Lauper- “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” – Pretty much explains itself.

7. Gloria Gaynor- “I Will Survive” – Another song kidnapped by the homosexual community (no offense). What next? The rainbow?!

8. Diana Ross- “I’m Coming Out” – Imagine large, sweaty, built males coming into constant physical contact with each other, sometimes falling into huge piles. Imagine you and your half-clothed male friends too close to each other and watching said large males executing said physical contact. Imagine this song being played during and you can imagine how awkward it’d get, unless you’re Amaechi.

9. War- “Why Can’t We Be Friends” - A completely inappropriate song to be played during a competitive match, unless you’re the Detroit Lions, at which case, it’s your last hope.

10. Afroman – “Cause I Got High” - No need to state an obvious fact since the majority of the players already are or will be after the game.

Honorable Mention:

Village People – “YMCA” - Stupid homosexual community (no offense). Stupid Village People (no offense). YMCA sucks anyways, Islamic community centers are so much better nowadays.

Oh no, you didn’t.

Did I leave any out? Have any personal favorites you hate? Let me know in the comments below!